I woke up this morning feeling like a Real Housewife of.... What started as a low key, fun night out turned into high drama and ended appallingly. What do you do when there's a toxic person in the tribe? When times out with your friends are fraught with tension because you just don't know what is going to set off that person?
I've been faced with this situation only twice. In the first instance, I chose to stop associating with the person. It was easy to do at the time. I was traveling a lot for work, in town only on the weekends. It was easy to have other plans and just stop seeing this friend. At the same time, many of our mutual friends were also seeing the dark side of this person and also curtailing the time they spent with her. There are times when I still wish this friendship had not had to end. This woman can be wickedly funny. But she can also be plain wicked. And five years later, I can say that I am much happier without this woman in my circle of friends. Cutting ties with her has proven to be the best thing to do.
Last night's incident is trickier. The best solution in this situation is also for me to limit the time I spend around this person. That's not an ideal situation, though, because it also means limiting time I get to spend with other people I care about very much. That feels like I'm punishing myself. But I know I can control only myself and my reactions. That means that if I don't want the drama, no one is forcing me to be in situations where it can be created. I can disengage from it, not respond to it.
I am a little nervous about how this decision is going to play out. It will shift dynamics between a group of good friends. But life is too short to spend it with people who don't make you feel good.
What about any readers? How have you handled situations like this in the past?
06 June 2010
28 May 2010
Girls Night Out: Sex and the City 2
I went tonight to see the most universally derided and poorest reviewed movie that I can remember. And yes, parts of it were ridiculous. I asked myself more than once "What on earth is she wearing?!" I completely agree that you could see some of the jokes coming from the parking lot.
That being said, I had a great time. Because yes, I enjoyed the movie. But let's face it. No one in their right mind going to see SATC2 was expecting a cinematic masterpiece. With a movie like this, I'd argue that cinematography doesn't matter. I'd even argue that not even plot truly matters. The thing is, with the SATC franchise, it is just as much about the experience as it is the film itself.
Many women feel some kindred spirit to Carrie, Charlotte, Samantha, and Miranda. When it was merely a television show, we talked about the previous night's episode. We made Cosmopolitans and virgin Flirtini's and hosted viewing parties. We celebrated girl friends as much as we did the series itself. When the first movie was released, we planned elaborate Girls Night Out events. Husbands, boyfriends, and children were left at home. The movie was an EVENT. We had cocktails and/or dinner beforehand. We filed into the theater. We gasped collectively when Big told Carrie he just couldn't get out of the limo to come into the wedding. Our hearts ached when Carrie and Miranda fought. More than one of us teared up when Charlotte found herself pregnant. And we all cheered when Carrie and Big finally tied the knot.
And I was satisfied with the resolution of the first film. I felt it told the story. I was skeptical of the second movie. But then I remembered, the movie is only a small part of the event. Really, it is about time with your girl friends. So I bought advance tickets to go see the movie opening weekend with my friend Kris.
A rainy Friday night found me in four inch stiletto sandals and a cute top and jeans. Nothing like I would normally wear to a movie. Yet I wasn't alone. At dinner, in the ladies room at the theater, waiting for concessions, filing out after the movie was over, I noticed all the women had dressed up a bit for tonight. It's been said more than once that women dress for each other, and I think that is true. It certainly was tonight. But it was also for ourselves. We did it because we were inspired by Carrie, Miranda, Charlotte, and Samantha (though, someone, please shoot me if I ever decide to make muffins wearing vintage Valentino).
Collectively, we laughed and gasped and cheered throughout the movie. We smiled knowingly as Charlotte and Miranda lamented the not so glamorous side of motherhood. We saw parts of our own relationships as Carrie questioned the sustainability of her marriage as she felt it was falling into a rut. We laughed together at the silly, obvious jokes, and I'm sure more than one of us grinned at Liza's take on "All the Single Ladies."
So critics, go ahead and pan the movie. None of us care. The movie isn't what it's about. It's the whole experience. The celebration of our tribe of girlfriends- those who are there no matter whether we're single or married, a mom or not. Our sister soul mates.
That being said, I had a great time. Because yes, I enjoyed the movie. But let's face it. No one in their right mind going to see SATC2 was expecting a cinematic masterpiece. With a movie like this, I'd argue that cinematography doesn't matter. I'd even argue that not even plot truly matters. The thing is, with the SATC franchise, it is just as much about the experience as it is the film itself.
Many women feel some kindred spirit to Carrie, Charlotte, Samantha, and Miranda. When it was merely a television show, we talked about the previous night's episode. We made Cosmopolitans and virgin Flirtini's and hosted viewing parties. We celebrated girl friends as much as we did the series itself. When the first movie was released, we planned elaborate Girls Night Out events. Husbands, boyfriends, and children were left at home. The movie was an EVENT. We had cocktails and/or dinner beforehand. We filed into the theater. We gasped collectively when Big told Carrie he just couldn't get out of the limo to come into the wedding. Our hearts ached when Carrie and Miranda fought. More than one of us teared up when Charlotte found herself pregnant. And we all cheered when Carrie and Big finally tied the knot.
And I was satisfied with the resolution of the first film. I felt it told the story. I was skeptical of the second movie. But then I remembered, the movie is only a small part of the event. Really, it is about time with your girl friends. So I bought advance tickets to go see the movie opening weekend with my friend Kris.
A rainy Friday night found me in four inch stiletto sandals and a cute top and jeans. Nothing like I would normally wear to a movie. Yet I wasn't alone. At dinner, in the ladies room at the theater, waiting for concessions, filing out after the movie was over, I noticed all the women had dressed up a bit for tonight. It's been said more than once that women dress for each other, and I think that is true. It certainly was tonight. But it was also for ourselves. We did it because we were inspired by Carrie, Miranda, Charlotte, and Samantha (though, someone, please shoot me if I ever decide to make muffins wearing vintage Valentino).
Collectively, we laughed and gasped and cheered throughout the movie. We smiled knowingly as Charlotte and Miranda lamented the not so glamorous side of motherhood. We saw parts of our own relationships as Carrie questioned the sustainability of her marriage as she felt it was falling into a rut. We laughed together at the silly, obvious jokes, and I'm sure more than one of us grinned at Liza's take on "All the Single Ladies."
So critics, go ahead and pan the movie. None of us care. The movie isn't what it's about. It's the whole experience. The celebration of our tribe of girlfriends- those who are there no matter whether we're single or married, a mom or not. Our sister soul mates.
23 May 2010
The Things You Do For Some Friends- The Concert GNO
There are some things you do only because someone is a close friend. The people who know where the bodies are buried. The people that have you doing things so out of character that other people ask if you lost a bet.
Ashby is one of those friends. We were college roommates. She's one of the smartest people I know. She's an attorney, and if I ever need one, I hope to be able to hire her. She's not afraid to tell you what you need to hear. While I implicitly trust her advice on nude hose, wearing purple, flirting, and the appropriate number of rings to wear at any given time, I question the girl's taste in music. While I'm more of a fan of U2 and any kind of Rock, Ashby tends to favor the Pop Princesses. Which is how I found myself on the Atlanta MARTA last September, heading to a Britney Spears concert.
In the interest of full disclosure, I did get myself into this predicament. It was I, after all, who sent the email to Ashby telling her that Britney was coming to town. Her husband had no interest in going to the show, so we turned it into a Girls Weekend. She came to visit.
We dressed cute. We updated Facebook to say we were heading to the show. Ashby's friends told her to have fun. Mine asked how on earth this had happened. Ashby asked me why her friends weren't surprised she was going, but mine wanted to know what dirt Ashby had on me.
We joined the throngs of women our age, tweens, and gay men attending the show. We saw Kim from the Real Housewives of Atlanta (and her entourage, all wearing Bedazzled T-shirts reading "Team Kim"). And we saw the Circus. I refuse to call this a concert. I think Britney actually sang (live) only one song.
So yes, it is no secret here that I am not a big Britney fan. Despite that, I had an unexpectedly good time. Ashby has a wickedly sarcastic sense of humor and can make me laugh in ways few people can. She's already seen me at my best and worst- it is hard to hide much of anything in a dorm room, after all, so there's no pretense, no need to impress the other person.
Ashby and I are on the same wavelength politically, so there are things I can talk about with her that I don't discuss with other people. We did have one massive argument back in college, but thankfully we grew up and got over that. Our friendship is stronger for it, I think, because we learned something about the people we want to count amongst our closest circle, and those we are content to keep in touch with periodically.
So now, Ashby's asked me to consider another thing I wouldn't normally- a Lady Ga Ga show. We'll see.
By the way, the rest of the weekend was a lot of fun- the quest for the perfect jeans, and martinis and tapas and dueling pianos. But those are stories for another posting.
In the interest of full disclosure, I did get myself into this predicament. It was I, after all, who sent the email to Ashby telling her that Britney was coming to town. Her husband had no interest in going to the show, so we turned it into a Girls Weekend. She came to visit.
We dressed cute. We updated Facebook to say we were heading to the show. Ashby's friends told her to have fun. Mine asked how on earth this had happened. Ashby asked me why her friends weren't surprised she was going, but mine wanted to know what dirt Ashby had on me.
We joined the throngs of women our age, tweens, and gay men attending the show. We saw Kim from the Real Housewives of Atlanta (and her entourage, all wearing Bedazzled T-shirts reading "Team Kim"). And we saw the Circus. I refuse to call this a concert. I think Britney actually sang (live) only one song.
So yes, it is no secret here that I am not a big Britney fan. Despite that, I had an unexpectedly good time. Ashby has a wickedly sarcastic sense of humor and can make me laugh in ways few people can. She's already seen me at my best and worst- it is hard to hide much of anything in a dorm room, after all, so there's no pretense, no need to impress the other person.
Ashby and I are on the same wavelength politically, so there are things I can talk about with her that I don't discuss with other people. We did have one massive argument back in college, but thankfully we grew up and got over that. Our friendship is stronger for it, I think, because we learned something about the people we want to count amongst our closest circle, and those we are content to keep in touch with periodically.
So now, Ashby's asked me to consider another thing I wouldn't normally- a Lady Ga Ga show. We'll see.
By the way, the rest of the weekend was a lot of fun- the quest for the perfect jeans, and martinis and tapas and dueling pianos. But those are stories for another posting.
03 May 2010
Girls Weekend- Catching up with my BFF
My best friend came to visit over the weekend. To me, that's the ultimate GNO. Vanessa and I go way back, all the way to high school. And our friendship has survived some pretty incredible things over the years, not the least of which is the distance between us and Vanessa being a wife and mother and me still being single and a perpetual pseudo-aunt rather than a mum myself.
I could write for days about our history, but I'll save some of those old, juicier stories for later. Instead, I'll focus on what makes our visits so special, especially now that we aren't in high school any longer.
I moved a lot growing up. That's one of the reasons I love Facebook. I've been able to reconnect with people I went to junior high and high school with and no longer live near. With us moving so much, I don't really feel like I have a hometown. "Home" is wherever my mother is but it is nowhere I've lived or plan to live. Having someone who has known me since I was fifteen, and is still a part of my life, makes me feel as though I have some roots.
A weekend visit just seems too short now. No matter what, there's just not enough time for everything we want to do. We did dinner Friday night; Saturday we shopped all day, then went to dinner, then shared a bottle of wine and watched a chick flick. Sunday, we lingered over coffee before Vanessa had to head back home.
It's just easy when you have a friend you've known so long, and who knows you so well. We often laugh about how we share a brain. And we're so often on the same wavelength that it can be eerie. Like the time we met for a Saturday of shopping dressed identically, down to our novelty socks, with absolutely no consultation about what each other was planning to wear.
Vanessa probably knows me better than anyone else. She is that true best friend to me. The one with whom I discuss the REALLY BIG ISSUES. The person with whom I dissolve into a fit of giggles for no apparent (or at least no sane) reason.
Having no sisters of my own, I feel like Vanessa is what I would want in a sister, if I could create one. The sense of familiarity and loyalty. Where we have fun no matter what we do. Saturday night we had planned to go to dueling pianos at a local tapas bar. And we would have had a great time (which reminds me of another post that needs to be made from when my college roommate came to visit). But we had just as good of a time just talking and hanging out, a nice low key Girls Weekend. Part of what I think is the best thing about friendships in general, and especially best friends.
I could write for days about our history, but I'll save some of those old, juicier stories for later. Instead, I'll focus on what makes our visits so special, especially now that we aren't in high school any longer.
I moved a lot growing up. That's one of the reasons I love Facebook. I've been able to reconnect with people I went to junior high and high school with and no longer live near. With us moving so much, I don't really feel like I have a hometown. "Home" is wherever my mother is but it is nowhere I've lived or plan to live. Having someone who has known me since I was fifteen, and is still a part of my life, makes me feel as though I have some roots.
A weekend visit just seems too short now. No matter what, there's just not enough time for everything we want to do. We did dinner Friday night; Saturday we shopped all day, then went to dinner, then shared a bottle of wine and watched a chick flick. Sunday, we lingered over coffee before Vanessa had to head back home.
It's just easy when you have a friend you've known so long, and who knows you so well. We often laugh about how we share a brain. And we're so often on the same wavelength that it can be eerie. Like the time we met for a Saturday of shopping dressed identically, down to our novelty socks, with absolutely no consultation about what each other was planning to wear.
Vanessa probably knows me better than anyone else. She is that true best friend to me. The one with whom I discuss the REALLY BIG ISSUES. The person with whom I dissolve into a fit of giggles for no apparent (or at least no sane) reason.
Having no sisters of my own, I feel like Vanessa is what I would want in a sister, if I could create one. The sense of familiarity and loyalty. Where we have fun no matter what we do. Saturday night we had planned to go to dueling pianos at a local tapas bar. And we would have had a great time (which reminds me of another post that needs to be made from when my college roommate came to visit). But we had just as good of a time just talking and hanging out, a nice low key Girls Weekend. Part of what I think is the best thing about friendships in general, and especially best friends.
28 April 2010
Thursday Night, That Mexican Restaurant by the Kroger
I'm sorry if that title sounds flippant. I truly don't know the name of the restaurant, and as we planned for that dinner, it was known as this, or as "that place we went on the 3-Day." It is a true matter of knowing a location and not a name.
This third GNO from last week was with the 3-Day ladies. As I mentioned in an earlier post, the four of us met when we were training for the Breast Cancer 3-Day walk to benefit the Susan G. Komen Foundation. Although this was now three years ago, we meet monthly for dinner. Juggling four schedules, with two of us who travel periodically for work, one of us with three kids and a husband who travels for work, and the other of us with an unpredictable work schedule, and you can imagine getting things on the calendar can be hairy.
I promise I was looking forward to this dinner but I was TIRED. In the seven days leading up to this night, I'd been to a concert, a play, a surprise party, two other dinners, fought allergies and cranky sinuses, and worked. The week had worn on me, and of course since I had to be somewhere that evening, my commute had taken longer than normal (note to self, figure out what I've been doing lately to bring bad Karma on the evening commute when I really need to be somewhere and stop doing it).
So the topics that night were heavier than I wanted to discuss. I shut down some. And it wasn't fair to the ladies I was with. Although I've spoken with them all since then, I hope they'll also accept this as a public apology for me being cranky and disengaged. And that isn't to belittle the topics. But sometimes, especially amongst friends, topics hit close to home. They hit you in unexpected ways. And when that happened to me on Thursday night, I chose the easier of the two reactions. So this was by far not the best GNO I've had with these ladies.
But in another way, it was incredibly important to me. Because this same dinner was where the idea for this blog was born. I have L to thank for it. L is a newly minted real estate agent. Within 30 seconds of sitting down at dinner, M1 asked "how's our newest real estate agent?".
L made the comment later in the evening that among her friends, we are some of the only ones who have even acknowledged her new job. When L told us that at a recent lunch with other play group mothers, that only one of them asked about her new job, and that was when they were walking to their cars in the parking lot, the idea for this blog popped into my head.
I think we look at our friendships as ways to validate who we are as individuals. Sure, most of us have friends that have some context- people from work, from play group, from community groups or religious organizations. But I believe we are all looking for some friends who just see and value us as us, without any other labels. That is what this group does for me. This dinner taught me how important it is to hear our friends, and understand what is important to them and recognize and acknowledge that. In too many other relationships, we don't always get that.
Now, we're trying to plan the May outing... We've at least narrowed it down to which weeks we should all have a free night. And I promise to be in a better frame of mind next time.
This third GNO from last week was with the 3-Day ladies. As I mentioned in an earlier post, the four of us met when we were training for the Breast Cancer 3-Day walk to benefit the Susan G. Komen Foundation. Although this was now three years ago, we meet monthly for dinner. Juggling four schedules, with two of us who travel periodically for work, one of us with three kids and a husband who travels for work, and the other of us with an unpredictable work schedule, and you can imagine getting things on the calendar can be hairy.
I promise I was looking forward to this dinner but I was TIRED. In the seven days leading up to this night, I'd been to a concert, a play, a surprise party, two other dinners, fought allergies and cranky sinuses, and worked. The week had worn on me, and of course since I had to be somewhere that evening, my commute had taken longer than normal (note to self, figure out what I've been doing lately to bring bad Karma on the evening commute when I really need to be somewhere and stop doing it).
So the topics that night were heavier than I wanted to discuss. I shut down some. And it wasn't fair to the ladies I was with. Although I've spoken with them all since then, I hope they'll also accept this as a public apology for me being cranky and disengaged. And that isn't to belittle the topics. But sometimes, especially amongst friends, topics hit close to home. They hit you in unexpected ways. And when that happened to me on Thursday night, I chose the easier of the two reactions. So this was by far not the best GNO I've had with these ladies.
But in another way, it was incredibly important to me. Because this same dinner was where the idea for this blog was born. I have L to thank for it. L is a newly minted real estate agent. Within 30 seconds of sitting down at dinner, M1 asked "how's our newest real estate agent?".
L made the comment later in the evening that among her friends, we are some of the only ones who have even acknowledged her new job. When L told us that at a recent lunch with other play group mothers, that only one of them asked about her new job, and that was when they were walking to their cars in the parking lot, the idea for this blog popped into my head.
I think we look at our friendships as ways to validate who we are as individuals. Sure, most of us have friends that have some context- people from work, from play group, from community groups or religious organizations. But I believe we are all looking for some friends who just see and value us as us, without any other labels. That is what this group does for me. This dinner taught me how important it is to hear our friends, and understand what is important to them and recognize and acknowledge that. In too many other relationships, we don't always get that.
Now, we're trying to plan the May outing... We've at least narrowed it down to which weeks we should all have a free night. And I promise to be in a better frame of mind next time.
26 April 2010
Wednesday Night- Twisted Taco
This was originally the next post. And then it wasn't. But then L told me she wants another GNO before she's introduced to the blogosphere, so we're back to last Wednesday at the Twisted Taco. Which makes me realize there was another theme to last week- Taco Mac, Twisted Taco, and the Mexican place by the Kroger. So yeah, chips-and-salsa was also a pretty big theme.
At any rate this GNO had been on the calendar for a while. A deadline was fast approaching. Two days after this dinner, K was scheduled to have her third child. (And she did, a healthy little girl, congratulations to K and her husband). Em and K and I were going out to give K a respite from pregnancy hormones and being Mommy and just having some girl time.
We were all sorority advisors for a while. In a unique twist, this particular group of advisors got on well together, and after we began taking divergent paths (I quit advising. E moved. Em and K went on to other roles) we realized we all genuinely like each other and have found ways to stay in touch over the years. K hosts us for the Oscars each year.We all saw the Sex and the City movie together. There's a bachelorette party whenever one of us gets married; a shower for a new baby; sometimes just gathering for a good time. And that is what Wednesday night was. K and Em and I having a relaxing dinner before this huge, wonderful event in the coming days.
Because the sorority is our commonality, some portion of our conversation inevitably revolves around what is going on within it. Thankfully it is not all we have in common. Because while I have wonderful memories of my time in this sorority, and admit that it did shape in part who I am today, I am not trying to relive glory days. And neither are any of these other women. They are giving back to an organization that gave so much to them. It is a nice commonality, and a good conversation starter, but with jobs and spouses and babies and life, it isn't enough to hold a friendship together over years.
We've been through marriages and babies and divorces and surgeries and remarriages and moves and unemployment and new jobs together. And we've still had this bond. And now we're back to Wednesday, celebrating us, celebrating the new baby, and celebrating Em's brand new engagement (now that story? That's a chick flick or a chick-lit novel just waiting to happen, I'm just saying) and we talked about all these wonderful things, then the conversation turned to me. "What's new with you?"
The four words I'd been dreading. Because I know they are asked with utmost sincerity, that they genuinely are curious and want to know what is going on in my life. But all that stuff I listed earlier that we shared? The only news I've ever had to share is a new job. Now, I'm thankful to not have experienced surgery or divorce or unemployment- I realize I've been blessed in many, many ways. But I often feel slightly out step, out of place with this group because the things that are becoming more and more a part of the conversation when we are all together- the fiances, the husbands, the babies- don't apply to me.
It is sometimes a bit of a challenge for us to find that common ground, that bond that tethers us to each other, now. Fortunately, we all think these friendships are important enough to find that commonality. I come away from dinners and nights out with these wonderful, dynamic women thinking, look how different we are! But look how much we enjoy each others' company. And I know that although we don't see each other as frequently as we did when we were all advisors together, my life would not be the same without these women in it.
So we enjoyed our margaritas and mexican food. We laughed about so many random things. I shared a little story about someone they don't know just to get something off of my chest. In short, we had a wonderful time. And as soon as K can be away from the new baby and her other kids for a while, and Em is in desperate need of a break from wedding planning, I'm ready to do it again.
At any rate this GNO had been on the calendar for a while. A deadline was fast approaching. Two days after this dinner, K was scheduled to have her third child. (And she did, a healthy little girl, congratulations to K and her husband). Em and K and I were going out to give K a respite from pregnancy hormones and being Mommy and just having some girl time.
We were all sorority advisors for a while. In a unique twist, this particular group of advisors got on well together, and after we began taking divergent paths (I quit advising. E moved. Em and K went on to other roles) we realized we all genuinely like each other and have found ways to stay in touch over the years. K hosts us for the Oscars each year.We all saw the Sex and the City movie together. There's a bachelorette party whenever one of us gets married; a shower for a new baby; sometimes just gathering for a good time. And that is what Wednesday night was. K and Em and I having a relaxing dinner before this huge, wonderful event in the coming days.
Because the sorority is our commonality, some portion of our conversation inevitably revolves around what is going on within it. Thankfully it is not all we have in common. Because while I have wonderful memories of my time in this sorority, and admit that it did shape in part who I am today, I am not trying to relive glory days. And neither are any of these other women. They are giving back to an organization that gave so much to them. It is a nice commonality, and a good conversation starter, but with jobs and spouses and babies and life, it isn't enough to hold a friendship together over years.
We've been through marriages and babies and divorces and surgeries and remarriages and moves and unemployment and new jobs together. And we've still had this bond. And now we're back to Wednesday, celebrating us, celebrating the new baby, and celebrating Em's brand new engagement (now that story? That's a chick flick or a chick-lit novel just waiting to happen, I'm just saying) and we talked about all these wonderful things, then the conversation turned to me. "What's new with you?"
The four words I'd been dreading. Because I know they are asked with utmost sincerity, that they genuinely are curious and want to know what is going on in my life. But all that stuff I listed earlier that we shared? The only news I've ever had to share is a new job. Now, I'm thankful to not have experienced surgery or divorce or unemployment- I realize I've been blessed in many, many ways. But I often feel slightly out step, out of place with this group because the things that are becoming more and more a part of the conversation when we are all together- the fiances, the husbands, the babies- don't apply to me.
It is sometimes a bit of a challenge for us to find that common ground, that bond that tethers us to each other, now. Fortunately, we all think these friendships are important enough to find that commonality. I come away from dinners and nights out with these wonderful, dynamic women thinking, look how different we are! But look how much we enjoy each others' company. And I know that although we don't see each other as frequently as we did when we were all advisors together, my life would not be the same without these women in it.
So we enjoyed our margaritas and mexican food. We laughed about so many random things. I shared a little story about someone they don't know just to get something off of my chest. In short, we had a wonderful time. And as soon as K can be away from the new baby and her other kids for a while, and Em is in desperate need of a break from wedding planning, I'm ready to do it again.
25 April 2010
Tuesday at Taco Mac- The Impromptu GNO
A and I used to be roommates. She's married now, and lives near my office. Tuesday afternoon she IM'd me to ask if I could meet for dinner. Her husband was out of town, and she and the baby were feeling a bit cooped up.
I typically love an impromptu dinner out, so of course I said yes here. We went to a sports bar type place, kid friendly.
This is why I like being around A. Because we were roommates, she's seen me at my best and worst, she's seen me without make-up, and we've had all those deep talks over mugs of coffee or bottles of wine. I don't feel like I have to be "On" when I'm with her. I can just be myself. It is easy being around A. She's also one of the nicest people I know, and, at least in our area, it's much more "six degrees of A" than "six degrees of Kevin Bacon." But that means she's busy, and I'm busy and we don't get together nearly enough. So this dinner out was perfect. The baby is the cutest and was so good over dinner, and A and I were able to talk and catch up.
I didn't know it at the time, but there was going to be a bit of a theme through the rest of the dinners I had this week, and it started on Tuesday. Politics and Religion. A and I are much more aligned politically than any of the other people I saw this week. There's an ease there where, should the conversation turn that way, I don't feel as though I either need to go on the defensive, or, in an effort to keep things light, simply not comment. That's something I've grown to appreciate.
Another thing that makes Girls Nights Out with A so fun is that I'm guaranteed to laugh. And I love to laugh. But A is also one of the few people I can be serious and authentic with, and I feel like she knows she can be that way with me.
It wasn't a late night, baby needed bathing and bed, after all. But it was such a pleasant night, as impromptu nights tend to be. I like having that kind of friendship, where you can actually plan some things on the spur of the moment, without having to take out calendars to plan for weeks in advance. Those are sometimes the best Girls Nights Out.
Also, note to self... plenty of guys hanging out here after work. Must file that away for future reference...
I typically love an impromptu dinner out, so of course I said yes here. We went to a sports bar type place, kid friendly.
This is why I like being around A. Because we were roommates, she's seen me at my best and worst, she's seen me without make-up, and we've had all those deep talks over mugs of coffee or bottles of wine. I don't feel like I have to be "On" when I'm with her. I can just be myself. It is easy being around A. She's also one of the nicest people I know, and, at least in our area, it's much more "six degrees of A" than "six degrees of Kevin Bacon." But that means she's busy, and I'm busy and we don't get together nearly enough. So this dinner out was perfect. The baby is the cutest and was so good over dinner, and A and I were able to talk and catch up.
I didn't know it at the time, but there was going to be a bit of a theme through the rest of the dinners I had this week, and it started on Tuesday. Politics and Religion. A and I are much more aligned politically than any of the other people I saw this week. There's an ease there where, should the conversation turn that way, I don't feel as though I either need to go on the defensive, or, in an effort to keep things light, simply not comment. That's something I've grown to appreciate.
Another thing that makes Girls Nights Out with A so fun is that I'm guaranteed to laugh. And I love to laugh. But A is also one of the few people I can be serious and authentic with, and I feel like she knows she can be that way with me.
It wasn't a late night, baby needed bathing and bed, after all. But it was such a pleasant night, as impromptu nights tend to be. I like having that kind of friendship, where you can actually plan some things on the spur of the moment, without having to take out calendars to plan for weeks in advance. Those are sometimes the best Girls Nights Out.
Also, note to self... plenty of guys hanging out here after work. Must file that away for future reference...
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